God has a habit of living out scripture in my life, and all week I’ve kept coming back to this text.

…because life is a little stressful lately.

A little about me.

I am prone to worry. I internalize it, and bury it, and while I like to pretend its gone, it rarely goes anywhere. In my fears and anxieties, if I am not very careful, I return to old bad habits of dealing with the stress. Fortunately, I can see the cycle(s) but it wasn’t always that way.

Stress, worry, fear, all lead to sin and death. Maybe not physical death, but soul death.

Chances are if you are breathing you know what I mean…

We were meant for so much more. …like Joy and Peace and Fulfillment.

Anyway, this is the text, and I will follow it up with some tips I see:

Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute! Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:4-9 MSG)

A friend once described to me that in our head all day, most of us have a soundtrack running. Unlike Ally McBeal though, ours plays old tunes of self doubt and self loathing. …things we heard a parent say. …maybe something from a teacher, or a coach, or a mentor. Painful things.

Things like …nobody really loves you…you are going to fail…you’ve never been good at anything…you quit too easy…

Under pressure (think stress) we hear that self talk …and it robs us of joy.

I’ve been using this text (and the following tips) to create a new soundtrack.

1. We were meant to revel in Him

We were meant for something more. Jesus said, “I came to give you joy …complete joy.”

2. We need to take our eyes off ourselves.

When we focus inward, our pain, stress, and fear is all we’ll ever see. When we begin to see/help/love others it gives our struggles and fears perspective. It doesn’t make them go away, but it certainly helps to knock them down a few notches in importance.

3. Prayer is intended to replace worry.

When you pray you place all that stuff at his feet. You put your problems in his hands.

And by the way, you don’t “thank him for what he’s already done.” Nowhere in scripture are you promised you’ll get what you want. Instead… Thanksgiving is prayer’s posture.

Prayer is meant to connect us with him. In that connection we find peace. Paul actually says God gives us his peace. …and last time I checked he doesn’t worry about much.

4. You have to listen carefully for what is true.

Too often we think that soundtrack in our head is truth. It’s not. Thinking on “those things” allows us to hear how false the voices in our head are.

…and yeah, you can find truth and beauty, and God all over. I recommend checking out the next sunset. …but that’s probably only because I like to sleep through sunrises.

5. You have to do something.

You can sit around and pout all you want, but its not really going to help much. A buddy of mine says you get 24 hours. Then it’s time to get moving.

Put what you know to be true into action, and get your behind moving.

…and that’s probably one of the most frustrating thing about being employment challenged.

It’s hard to rest and enjoy the now when the future is so in question.

…sometimes I just have to take a personal day.

Monday was such a day. I had no idea how good of a day it would be though! (so good, in fact, that I felt it deserved a chronicle.)

9:00 am – I slept in a little, woke up feeling rested!

10:00 am – hit Starbucks for some coffee. Read my devotional, and blogs, checked Facebook and twitter. Made the days plans… Tweeted asking if anyone had discounted tickets to Verge, and Austin conference I would like to attend.

11:45 am – went to Lane Four and bought swim fins for me and the boys – $45

12:00 am – stopped by performance to get them to fix my bike trainer. The wireless had stopped working. They told me they couldn’t fix it, so they refunded me the purchase price and tax ( for my 7 year old bike trainer). – + $291 …wow!

I bought a new trainer, two new tires, and a new saddle -$240

In case you missed that, our swim fins and all the bike stuff pretty much equal out!

12:45 pm – ate at Zen. …veggie rolls! yummy! …and spent less than $5

1:15 pm – walked over to Starbucks to check my email, etc. and noticed Joe McDaniel messages me. Called him back but he was busy.

2:00 pm – went to the gym to swim, but as I pulled into the parking lot Joe called me back.

Long story short, Joe is flying to Austin for Verge 2012, and offered to pay my registration! …very cool – I get to go to Verge, and I get to hang with Joe!

No sooner did I hang up and my Pastor called. I literally stood in the grass outside the gym for 20 minutes. (I pace when I talk on the phone…it was probably pretty comical.) Donnie had great news – a lead!

2:30 pm – I tried out my new swim fins and got my feet wet, literally, in the pool for the first time this year.

4:00 pm – put my Tri bike on my bike stand and started trying to change out the saddle …and actually succeeded! Miracles never cease!! I put the bike on our NEW trainer, and everything seems to be working fine!

5:00 pm – Dana got home with the kids and we watched wipeout and American Idol

6:30 pm – the whole family heads out the door for a run. It really is pretty cool when all five us go together. We needed to take a redbox back, so we just ran (the mile or so) to Walgreens. Then we ran back home. There, the kids and I did stride outs and looped back to Dana. On the way home, the boys and I …and a determined Ashley… Picked the pace up a bit and finished the run at a 5k pace. I walked back to Dana and we walked home together…

7:30 – Dana and I made a quick trip to HEB and picked up Papa Johns …a veggie pizza and a cheese – and it was really good!

All, in all, just a great day! …praying the lead will pan out!

On Monday evening I had an interview with a church in a neighboring city. There haven’t been many churches I have interviewed with, and this one was close enough for it to be in person. I love everything I’ve come to learn about the church. The structure, mission, design, worship, even the facilities all seemed to be an exact fit.

The interview went really, really well. …and they told me they would make a decision pretty quick, so all week I’ve been waiting …and waiting …and waiting.

I finally broke down last night (Thursday) and sent an email and this morning (Friday) I called. I found out they were meeting and I would know something by around lunchtime.

Lunch came and went without any word.

I’d been anxious all week. I just haven’t felt positive. I knew the interview went really well, but something just didn’t feel right in my soul.

So a little after 1pm I went for a run.

I played a new playlist on my ipod today while running. About 2.5 miles into my run David Ramirez’s song, Try, came on. It begins:

I’ve had many failures; just a few victories

I’ve had many dreams die; just a few survived

I’ve cried many rivers, but I still find laughter ’cause I know

When the tears have dried another door is open wide

So try, try a little harder

Oh, and breathe, breathe a little deeper

And I pray that you become wiser

Oh, cause life, life will just keep on

But you gotta try…

…I stopped running somewhere in the first few lines, and I knew.

God was preparing me. I hadn’t got the job.

I walked the rest of the way home; wanting to cry; wanting to throw up.

I got the call about an hour later. I didn’t get the job.

…but I knew before I knew. 

I also know that the same God that tried to let me down gently is the same one that’s looking out for me and my family. In fact, even as low as I feel right now, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s my biggest fan. He knows the desires of my heart and I am his.

…so I’ll try – try a little harder… (its a GREAT song!)

According to IMDB it “Examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting our present menu of animal-based and processed foods.”

…and surprisingly – its a really good, compelling little movie!

What???

Do I really want to try a whole foods plant-based diet??

Am I, a Red Blooded Texan-American Male Carnivore, seriously considering going Tree Hugger nuts??

The truth is that for weeks now, I have been feeling miserable:

• I am overweight (or over what’s comfortable at least) by about 20 pounds – and although I don’t really look that fat, I feel sluggish and unhealthy.
• I’m having some issues exercising too – which is not typical and concerns me. I’ve been injury plagued so far in 2012 with all kinds of new aches and pains.
• I have a suspicion that if I went and did my blood work. my cholesterol and various other bad things would be through the roof!
• I’ve also been sleeping poorly for a few months, drink way too much coffee, and have a little extra stress in my life due to being “employment challenged.”

AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME none of the usual tricks seem to be working. I can’t seem to diet effectively to lose the weight, etc. Working out is harder than ever. I hurt and I just generally don’t feel that good.

You know its getting bad when you start paying attention to late-night television infomercials for crazy diet pills and exorcise equipment!!

…and I realize – this could seem like just another crazy diet.

Trust me – I don’t really want to “go vegan” or “vegitartian” but its hard to argue with the science that Forks Over Knives articulates.

It all sounds so darn reasonable. (Oh, and I might also add that I have family history of high blood pressure and heart disease. My grandfather died of a heart attack way too young, and my father has had a quadruple bi-pass.)

Here’s the diet is a nutshell:

Less Meat – way less – almost none

More vegies, plants, legumes, grains, and fruits

Less Milk and milk based products – way less – almost none.

~AND~

I’m thinking about giving it a try…

…maybe the world will end this year, maybe not? Either way, I say we live like 2012 will be our last!

It’s funny how the start of a new year can cause so many of us to change.

Seriously. I woke up this morning and did pushups and crunches. I also started a new devotional. …now that’s funny!

Yesterday I had no discipline. Today I do. Yesterday, no will power at all. Today, all the will power I could ever want.

What is it about the “new year” that gets us to diet, and exercise, and do the things we’ve been wanting to do for most of last year?

…and yeah, I know it probably won’t last – but seriously – I did crunches before breakfast.

Is it new goals? Is it just resolutions? …maybe. (But, look at last years resolutions and I bet they look a whole lot like this years.)

Is it the New Year? …or all the weight watchers commercials?

…I honestly have no idea… (but as usual, I have a guess)

I think we like getting a fresh start.

I think we like the New Year because we equate it with a clean slate.

A new beginning.

…but here’s something to think about…

For believers – every morning is a new start.

Here’s what scripture teaches:

The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:22, 23 NLT)

For those in Christ, every day is a new beginning.

We wake to a clean slate; a fresh start; another try…

His mercy is new every morning!

Isn’t that cool?

…and while I’m preaching…

Here’s a great reminder of what it is He’s done for us:

It wasn’t so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God’s gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there’s more life to come-an eternity of life! (Titus 3:3-7 MSG)

Great passage right?

Happy New Year!

May every day of 2012 be as filled with hope and promise and grace as today is!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Austin, Texas

Caleb (13) Ashley (11) Aaron (12)

Although 2011 had many high points, it was also pretty challenging for our family.

Allow me a quick update and recap: I got a new job in February that allowed me to be home more often, but I started working nights – so in effect I was absent half the week from family activities. Dana spent most of the year (again) as a single parent, juggling work and the kids activities. …then I got laid off in late October. Finding a job has proved rather difficult. I’m at the point in my life where I either stay the course and find a ministry job, or I have to find a new career. That places me in a very weird holding pattern of sorts… I have too much education and too many “downsides” for anyone to take a chance on hiring me – when they know full well that I will be gone when the right offer comes along. (I finally understand all that now…) We made the decision to try to stay in our home for now, although we are still expecting that we’ll move when I find work. We were really considering selling and moving, and then we targeted refinancing, but when I lost my job that all fell through. Financially, things have been pretty difficult. Our in-laws have helped out a lot and somehow we’ve managed to stay afloat. God has  been good!

…but what about Christmas?

It just didn’t seem right to spend stuff on the kids and each other when we really couldn’t afford it.

We decided pretty early on, and quite pragmatically, that we just weren’t going to be able to do gifts. We told our kids that too. We wanted to be upfront and for them to understand our situation, and the “why” – so that’s just what we did.

…and we were okay with that.

Then a couple of weeks ago one of the families from our church approached Dana. They handed her an envelope with a bunch of cash with instructions that it was to be used for our Christmas. Every year, on Christmas Eve, our church takes an offering. The amount of the offering is supposed to be a tithe (10%) of what you spend on Christmas gifts and the church gives the money away to ministries and charities – they keep none of it. …this family decided to give that money to us instead of to the offering. Wow.

Then, on the same day, a “temp” employer paid me some extra money. He and his wife decided to forgo their gifts to each other, and instead they wanted our kids to have gifts under the tree.Wow.

So, quite suddenly, for the past two weeks Dana  and I have been scrambling around in secret buying gifts …and lying to our kids deliberatly so that they still think nothings coming. Then we wrapped the presents and wrote “from Santa” on every one of them …because this year, they really weren’t from us!

Cool huh?

Presents under the tree!!

He's been dying for these!

A whole new make-up kit

Modern Warfare 3!!

A goose down coat

New COLORFUL cross country shoes

New Airsoft guns!!

The kids were very excited about their gifts!…and quite surprised!!

Our kids have big hearts. They volunteer at events all throughout the year. They are great kids and they give and help others whenever they can. This year, they helped out with Blue Santa, and asked repeatedly to go back and help some more.

It was fun to be on the receiving end this year…

It was also fun to tell them this story…

Someday, I believe, when they have more than enough, they’ll remember – and they’ll make someone’s Christmas too!

Merry Christmas everybody! …here’s hoping we all find the job we need in 2012!

Merry Christmas from Dana and Charles - 2011

I have lists for the grocery store, list for goals, resolutions lists, work out lists, lists to help me with weight loss. I have a lot of lists!

Maybe one of the reasons I like lists so much is that I crave order. I like being able to check things off and know that progress is being made.

My life has very little of that -order- these days…

Everything seems pretty uncertain. Things I used to think were simple are now complex. Things I once had “checked off” have now been added to new lists.

Just to name a few: Will I return to ministry? Is it time to think new career? What would that even look like? Should I go back to school? Is any job offer the one I need to take? Should I be going for more? What is this teaching me? Is there something else I am missing? What am I teaching my kids? Is this failure? Was I supposed to have done something else?

…yeah, the chaos in my head lately is not a lot of fun… And, I am one that appreciates order.

I remembered a verse this morning, and in looking it up I loved what I read:

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13:12, 13 MSG)

Maybe your life isn’t as messy as mine is right now. Maybe you have everything under control.

Mine, however, feels a lot like I am squinting in a fog or peering through a mist…

I love Paul’s encouragement.

Trust steadily in God.

Hope unswervingly.

Love extravagantly.

There have been a few times I my life when I found myself driving through fog. …there’s really not much you can do. Your “brights” really won’t help. In fact, the harder you try, the worse it seems to work. The only thing you can really do is slow down, pay attention, and wait for things to get better.

So until the fog lifts… Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, and love extravagantly.

…my pants wouldn’t fit.

– insert Homer Simpson’s “Doh” or Shaggy’s “Ruh Roh” –

For the past 6 years I have been the same pants size.

…but when I was invited to officiate a wedding at the last minute, and I went to try on my suit – then every pair of dress pants I have… No go.

(For the record, and my waining ego, I could actually get my pants on – they would button, snap, and zip and all of that – but wearing them would have been extremely uncomfortable!)

Apparently, I’ve grown! …about two inches in fact!!

Having to go out and buy the “next size larger” dress pants is a huge wake up call.

Honestly, I don’t look all that different. My shorts still fit. My jeans still fit. I’ve been noticing that my shirts are a bit tighter, but I have plenty of bigger shirts. I knew that I was gaining weight, but the uptick on the scale has been so gradual…

The stress of losing my job has taken its toll. I’ve been skipping workouts and eating way too much pizza. I have packed on some extra pounds.

I’ve been giving a number of excuses. Dress pants don’t lie though.

Its time to get serious again about losing some weight.

Who’s with me?

I’ve been getting this question a lot lately …not sure how I became any sort of an expert… but it is something I have thought about, and looked into a lot!

Anyway, here are some thoughts:

Start small. Think baby steps. If you want to run a marathon someday, try just going around the block first. …then walk. When I first started running, I couldn’t even make a full mile. I ran, stretched my calves, walked, then ran again – and repeat. Remember – You are NOT the athlete that you “used” to be, whenever that was, so just know going into this: it will take longer than you realize – so start small! Whatever you do will take an adjustment period. Give it time before you start cranking up the pressure. FYI – a calorie is a calorie. Your body doesn’t give you extra credit for running vs. walking, or swimming, or riding a bike. Doing anything is better than nothing, so you might as well start small and build; and along the way you will get stronger and find out you are getting in shape even though you are not really going that fast …or far.

Remember that unless your diet changes, your body probably won’t see any change from exercise. …unless you already eat pretty well. This, by far, has been my biggest struggle. I spoke with a friend this weekend that has lost 45lbs in 9 months, after cutting out wheat, eating healthy, and a little exercise! That is the RIGHT way to do it!

Discover, uncover, and revel in the joy of a good workout. I’ve done all kinds of sports. I’ve raced bikes, I’ve played competitive tennis, I’ve done an Ironman …but I still think the most rewarding thing I’ve experienced is the simple joy that comes from a completed workout. For instance, right now I’ve been feeling pretty out of shape. This morning, though, I woke up and went for a run. It was a little chilly, and my knees hurt – but when I finished the run …it was glorious. There are very few things in life that can compete with that “high.” There’s also something spiritual that happens (for me) when I work out. I find myself meditating. I feel closer to God. I feel better about myself, and life, etc.

Buy the right stuff. …and it doesn’t necessarily have to be the most expensive stuff, but remember, you pay for what you get. If you are just trying out a sport, you don’t have to buy top of the line – but you can really do some damage using poor equipment. So… If you want to run, go buy some running shoes. Several stores offer free gait analysis and suggest shoes. Take their advice! I think of it like this… If I spend $100 bucks for shoes, and run in them 500 miles, then it’s money well spent. I overpronate, so I have to buy stability shoes. I didn’t know that intuitively. I also think technical gear makes sense… When my son started running, and I bought him his first pair of running shorts, he was like “wow” those really feel good. (Running shorts are lined, so you don’t wear underwear). Bike shorts make a difference. Cycling gloves matter. …whichever sport you choose, buy some of the right stuff. After my college days, when I tried to get back into cycling, (40lbs overweight) I discovered my shoulder hurt. I went to the doctor and he told me I had some type of arthritis, something or another… I went to a bike shop and bought a new carbon fiber road bike. I decided it was my aluminum bike, not my shoulder that was the problem. I spent $3000 in 2001. My bike’s odometer currently reads around 28,000 miles, and I have no shoulder pain! I say money well spent!

Toys are cool too. I run and bike with an iPod. Music helps the miles go by. I run with a Garmin. …I feel a little naked without it by now. I am addicted to gadgets. You don’t NEED them …but they can be fun.

All that being said, Running is very easy to do, right out your front door. Running is a great choice because its pretty simple. The start up investment is small (shoes) and you don’t have to worry about much. With cycling, you need a bike, and finding routes can be somewhat intimidating. There’s also a ton of gear to put on just to get out the door. Not so with running…

If you can find a partner, do so. Honestly, your decision to get in shape, and run or workout is yours. You have to own it. You have to be willing to go alone, and many of your best workouts will be solitary endeavors. …but if you can find an occasional partner it’s really nice. It’s always easier to get out the door when you are meeting someone else! One of the best things about the Austin area is that there are a ton of “groups.” Find a running group that works with your schedule, and join them occasionally.

Set goals. …and the goal really doesn’t matter. What matters is that there’s a goal. So, sign up for a 5k. Or decide to try to run a mile without stopping. …start small, but set a goal.

Make a plan. If you start working out, you need some kind of schedule. Build in rest, but create some type of schedule, and then try to stick with it. When I was ironman training, I used a marathon training plan I found in a magazine. If you are going to start running, then when? Mornings? At night? Which days? …make a plan.

One last thing… It’s never easy.

Sometimes you think, “I could do that!” …and so you try it – and it hurts!

I remember signing up for my first sprint triathlon. All I had to do was a 5k run …no problem. Then I started training, and I remembered why I never liked to run! It hurt! I had always told myself I couldn’t run. My excuse was chronic shin splints. Over the years, any time I would start running, my shins would hurt so bad I would just give up. …this time though, I ran about a block and stretched my calves. I would literally, run, walk, stretch, over and over. …and the day came when my shins no longer hurt. …and the day came when I could do a mile without stopping. …and the day came when I could do miles, and still talk while jogging merrily along.

It’s never easy though.

I was training with my daughter recently and realized she’s just like me. She does not like pain. She’s a great little athlete, but there’s a wall…and she hasn’t learned how to push past it. The problem is that breaking that threshold, or wall, involves pain.

Good luck with that.

But seriously, have fun out there!

Be safe. …and enjoy your run.

That’s a question I’m almost afraid to ask by the way. The answer both tells me something about you, and reveals something about me.

I watch Dexter. (I’m sure there’s a support group somewhere, right?) Hi, my name is Charles, and I’ll watch anything…

If you didn’t know: Dexter is a Showtime series about a serial killer juggling a family, his job as a crime lab blood specialist with the Miami Police Dept., and his demons.

I was a little alarmed when this season started because of two things.

First, the whole season seems to have a heightened spiritual tone revolving around a major developing case. Its a case of religious fanatics that are trying to bring about the end of days by using the imagery of Revelations quite literally to kill people. …yeah. Weird. Weird + insane Christian fanatics = REALLY WEIRD. …but sort of stereotypical honestly.

Secondly, one of the characters that’s introduced on Dexter this season is “Brother Sam.” Brother Sam played by yasiin bey, formerly Mos Def, is a former killer turned Body Shop owning preacher/pastor. He’s been released from prison, and is called in to help with an investigation, but Dexter targets him for killing, assuming that his religion is just a facade. Dexter is surprised though – the guy seems to be genuine.

…and I’ve been totally surprised too!

READ THIS CAREFULLY BECAUSE ITS A DISCLAIMER – so far, Brother Sam has been nothing but sincere – but this is Dexter! Anything can happen! So if you read this sometime in the future, they may have changed the character totally…

…so why have I been surprised by Dexter and Brother Sam?

Stereotypically, ministers – pastors – are not portrayed well on TV or in movies. They are portrayed often as dunces with dark sides. Their faith is shallow. Their characters are week. They are judgmental. They are fake, and mean, and scary. …or they are total pushover patsies. …I cringe anytime a minister is portrayed. I’m sure cops and doctors do the same thing when they watch cop or doctor shows, but it seems like with ministers there is ALWAYS an angle.

Brother Sam though is sincere. He is forgiving. He is gentle in his grace, but firm in his desire for his flock to change and grow. Perhaps because he came to faith late and due to his circumstances or his past, he seems to have a profound understanding of grace and redemption. He is patient, and authentic, and inviting and …very compelling!

In fact (sorry for the spoiler) Dexter and Brother Sam develop some sort of a relationship. A healthy relationship. …the kind of relationship I think most Pastors want with their flock and community as a whole.

In one recent episode, Dexter is invited to a church picnic and actually likes what he sees… Imagine that: Now we have this serial killing, dad, cop …exploring his spiritual side!

Wow. …that’s just nuts.

So (again sorry for any spoiler) on last weeks episode, when Dexter’s son is rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery – and Brother Sam learns of it – guess who shows up to offer support and to be “in Dexter’s corner?” …you guessed it! Brother Sam.

I almost cried.

Not because they got it right – but because that’s EXACTLY what being a pastor is all about. Its not so much about theology as it is about being in people’s corner.

Well done Dexter. …well done.